


A Mob Is A Familal Affair

by MorbidOptimist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, F/F, High School, School
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-11-26 20:02:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18185096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorbidOptimist/pseuds/MorbidOptimist
Summary: A new girl enters the life of one Kanaya Maryam. Kanaya, naturally, saves her from certain death; but how is Kanaya to save herself, when Rose Lalonde and her erstwhile family keep drawing her further and further into their sordid, shadowed, lives?





	1. Chapter 1

It was still dark when the ticking of the grandmother clock beckoned Kanaya out of her peaceful slumber and into a world not yet lit by the sun. It was upsetting really, as she much preferred when slivers of sunlight tumbled into her bedroom through the curtains to land heavily against her eyelids where they waited until the light tempted her awake; but it was too late in the year for such a dawn, what with the month being caught in the still of November.

The morning in question happened to be a Monday, if Kanaya’s sleep-blunted logic was correct. Despite the dark outside her window, it was still a morning, and it required her to gear up and face the world with the same begrudging obedience as any other school day.

She sighed, already imaging the menial course the day was likely going to take, and pushed the blanket away before getting up.

For a moment, she contemplated leaving her bed unmade, just to shake things out of their routine, but quickly thought better of it at the idea of returning home to answer her sister’s teasing questions about why her room was in such a state of disarray.

Kanaya made the bed with habitual precision and nodded to herself before looking at the rest of her room; whenever she wasn’t working on a project, her room was neat and well organized. Unfortunately, she was working on something more often than not, so it was seldom that the rest of her room lived up to her standards.

Putting the thoughts of her room out of her mind, Kanaya figured it was time to start getting ready if she wanted to make it to school on time.

She ran a hand through her hair as she walked down the tiny hallway to the bathroom she and her sister shared. As she opened the closet to find a towel, she could just make out the sounds of Porrim scampering about in the kitchen, likely getting breakfast started; Kanaya hoped she was making pancakes.

She hung the towel on the rack while thoughts of tasty breakfast foods and tasks shifted about in her head. After shedding her oversized nightshirt and a pair of worn out shorts she flicked on the water, stepped into the shower, and screamed.

The cold water was a shock, one that she always forget to plan around; after spitting a few choice words at the water’s general state of being, Kanaya managed to find the right temperature and continued on.

She scrubbed herself clean and picked one of the gentle scented shampoos piled in the corner to lather into her hair. She spent a minute or two working it in before rinsing it back out and repeated the process with her favorite conditioner.

Once rinsed, she shut off the water, grabbed her towel, and mentally checked off her shower routine as she patted herself dry.

She paused by the sink and glanced herself over a bit before brushing her teeth

With that taken care of, it was time to take leave of the bathroom.  

The walk back to her room was short and filled with the tantalizing smells of breakfast being prepared and Kanaya’s stomach rumbled in anticipation.

Next on her checklist however, was picking out her outfit.

Kanaya hummed to herself as she rifled through her dresser and tsked when she surveyed her closet.

She didn’t mind adhering to the school’s uniform policy of course, but she rather enjoyed adding tiny flares of personality where she could.

She chose a skirt over pants, and after eyeing the slowly brightening street outside of her window, Kanaya selected a light jacket instead of a sweater and long socks instead of hose.

She hung the towel on the back of her chair and quickly got dressed; she fumbled on the tie for a few minutes, but managed to wrangle it into submission before too long and added another tally to her imaginary scoreboard.

Packing up her bag took longer, as it needed Kanaya to scramble through the pages and notebooks on her desk while recalling her schedule; was it an odd day or an even day? Did she need her calculus book or would she require her home ec journal; and where had her sticky notes run off to?

After sorting through the mess and selecting what she hoped were the correct items, she added a paperback novel that was only _just_ not-quite trashy, her laptop, an emergency makeup kit, an emergency emergency kit, her spare notebook, her favorite pens and pencils, and her gym clothes.

With that taken care of, Kanaya skittered over to her dresser and began the process of fixing herself up.

Styling her hair was always the most aggravating part of her routine, because no matter how hard she tried to restrain it, her hair would simply fluff back up in the back once it was dry. The curls in her hair, once teased, tended to stay put however, and Kanaya was grateful for such small victories.

Painting her face was easier; primer and foundation followed by concealer and then highlighter and blush, eyeliner followed by mascara and complementary shadow. Her favorite part, the glossy black lipstick, would wait until after breakfast and she pocketed the tube.   

On the thought of breakfast once more, Kanaya left her dresser and hefted her messenger bag over her shoulder, grabbed the towel and headed to the kitchen. She tossed the towel at the laundry hamper on her way; it didn’t go in, but it did catch on the edge rather than just falling to the floor, so Kanaya checked that off as well.

Porrim was already gone, no doubt setting up the shop downstairs, but she had left Kanaya a helping of homemade waffles to partake in and a cup of coffee fixed just how she preferred it.  She fixed herself up a plate, grabbed the coffee, and sat down.

Her sister had left a few toppings on the table, a small bowl of strawberries, powdered sugar, and maple syrup sat nested beside napkins and a tiny pot of succulents that served as a centerpiece.  

She drowned her waffles in syrup and took a cautionary sip of her coffee to see if it was cool enough for her to consume its caffeine-addled goodness; it was, and she greedily downed the rest of the cup’s contents.

The waffles she savored, having a fondness for both the fluffy buttermilk cake and the sticky sweet syrup coating it.

Once she was finished, and she had cleaned any trace of stickiness from her face, Kanaya selected of the juicer looking strawberries and ate it happily.

With breakfast out of the way, Kanaya was free to apply the black coating to her lips that she favored; she pulled the tube out of her pocket, twisted it open and smeared it against her bottom lip. She pressed her lips together, to cover her upper lip, and with a practiced motion, swiped away the excess with her pinky.  

A quick glance at the clock informed her that it was time to get going; she picked up her bag and headed out of the kitchen and into the tiny landing above the stairs.

Kanaya paused in front of the endtable which was stationed just precisely, and picked up the picture frame that stood against it like a tiny, welcoming sentinel.

The photo was old, and a bit blurry, but Kanaya picked out the familiar face of her mother with ease; it was almost an older version of her own, for all of the similarities between them.  

She whispered a greeting, and ran her thumb against the woman’s face affectionately before gently setting it back down.

Kanaya left the picture to its post and trotted downstairs.

Immediately, the living quarters of the second floor gave way to the backroom for the store.

She walked past the corner serving as the office and into rows of plants, materials for custom arrangements, and a wall sporting a scattering of gardening supplies.

Leaving the backroom, Kanaya stepped into the well-lit storefront and walked over to her sister, who was setting up the register. She looked up and smiled brightly.

“Did you sleep well dear?” Porrim asked while she popped in the machine’s receipt paper.  

“I did, and breakfast was lovely, thank you,” Kanaya replied; “Do you require any help setting up?”

“I’ve got it,” she replied as she closed her register, “You don’t have to worry about the store until you get back darling.”

“I am to walk to school today, I take it?”

“Afraid so glitterbug;” Porrim nodded, “I can’t leave the store until lunch; do you have your phone with you?”

“Of course.”

“Good girl; off with you then dear, and have a good day.”

Kanaya nodded before walking to the door. She waved as Porrim shot her a parting pistol-mime and a wink.

She left the store with the ring of the tiny bell above it jingled in her ears.

The air outside was a bit chilly, and a little windy, and she was glad she had elected to take her jacket.

She tugged it closer to herself and began walking at a brisk pace.

It was a bit brighter now, and Kanaya could easily make the world out. The streets were beginning to wake up, there were dotted by workers scurrying to open their stores and the beginnings of what would become morning traffic. Some of the storefronts already had their Halloween decorations up, sporting colored streamers, stick on ghosts and paper bats.

She waved hello to a few of the people inside the stores, and nodded respectfully to the garbage collectors when she passed them.

She had to dart past a few cars that fancied themselves racecars in training, and waited for a stoplight that was a firm believer in Tolkien's fictional Ent philosophy, which was the only explanation she could fathom for its eternal slowness.

After finally rounding the last corner Kanaya made it to the street across from her highschool. She was, as usual, pretty early. The busses hadn’t arrived yet and there were only a few of the teachers’ cars parked outside and a small cluster of other students loitering around the doorway, waiting for someone to unlock the doors.  

She was about to cross the street to join them when something caught her eye.

She turned and noticed a small blonde haired girl sitting on one of the store’s window ledges in her year’s uniform and a lavender colored headband. Kanaya was quite certain that she had never seen the student before, although she granted, of course, that it was nearly impossible to keep track of the surplus of students attending her school; but she was a senior and knew most of her grade by face if not by name.

The girl was turned to the storefront, and ran a hand against the paper bats taped against the window and plucked one to twirl it between her fingers. She must have sensed Kanaya watching her however, because she stopped and got up from ledge; Kanaya was about to offer a friendly greeting, but found herself speechless when the girl looked at her.

Kanaya didn’t know if they were contacts or her natural color or even just a trick of the light, but the girl had breathtaking eyes that were _violet_ colored.  

The girl smiled then, coyly, and Kanaya felt herself blush; absently she tucked a loose curl behind her ear and tried to think of something clever to say.

The wind picked up just then, and the paper bat was torn out of the girl’s hand, causing it to skitter along the concrete and the girl to scramble after it.

When she bent to pick it back up, Kanaya felt as if her heart stopped cold as the sight of a black sedan growing in size at a considerable speed came swerving onto the sidewalk, clearly aiming for the blonde.

Kanaya did not think so much as react to instinct, and her instinct propelled her forward to grab the girl and lunge away from the sidewalk and into the street where they collided against the pavement and rolled to a stop, far out of the reach of the swearing vehicle.

It took a few seconds for Kanaya’s mind to catch up, and it was only after her lungs remembered that breathing was a necessity and resumed functioning that Kanaya looked to the car now speeding away.

The car was already speeding around the corner, and Kanaya cursed when she couldn’t make out the quickly disappearing number on the license plate.

A muffled squeak startled her and Kanaya realized that she still had the girl pinned to the ground. Awkwardly, she cleared her throat, released her vice grip, and gently extracted herself from the tangle of limbs and strewn belongings that she had created.

The girl sat up, minus the somewhat playful composure she had been sporting prior to their near-death experience, and eyed Kanaya with an odd expression that she couldn’t decipher.

Kanaya sheepishly held out her hand and helped the girl to her feet.

“I, for one, am all for the classics, but I don’t quite believe that this is what the great literary kings had in mind when they spoke of sweeping a girl off her feet.”

Kanaya felt her face flush and let go of the girl’s hand.

“I greatly apologize, for not warning you first or for causing you any bruising as a result of the- Oh heavens, are you alright,” Kanaya exclaimed aghast, “-I didn’t even think, I just saw that car and couldn’t think of any other way to avoid it and-”

“Rose!”

Kanaya turned to see a very worried blonde boy sorting the male student uniform jogging towards them. Kanaya was certain she had never seen him before either. He looked remarkably like the girl she had just tackled.

When he reached them, he paused to catch his breath and eyed Kanaya wearily, or rather, Kanaya presumed he was eyeing her; as he was wearing shades it was a little hard to tell.

“Sup,” he offered, before turning to the girl, “You ok?”

“It seems that this gallant citizen of the student body has saved me from an otherwise perilous fate. She made quite the daring rescue, if I do say so myself.”

“Really?”

The girl sighed, “In my defense, cars tend to stay on the road, so I was not expecting one of them to come careening down the sidewalk.”

“You shoulda’ waited for me, Bro’s gonna kick my ass when he hears about this.”

“If you recall, I was quite adamant about walking myself, so the ass that shall be on the line will more than likely be mine.”   

The boy nodded minutely in reply.

The girl, ‘Rose’, stared at him expectantly for a minute before he sighed and knelt to pick up her scattered belongings.

Kanaya picked up her own bag, and slung it over her shoulder and glanced at the road again. Thankfully, the looming threat of becoming flattened seemed absent for the moment and Kanaya let herself relax.

As the boy handed Rose her bag, the three made their way over to the sidewalk in front of the school.

Rose tugged on the hem of Kanaya’s coat sleeve, prompting her to stop short of entering the parking lot.

“So what might the name of my gallant knight be?”

“Kanaya Maryam,” she replied, she gripped her bag strap tightly, “I am pleased to make your acquaintance... miss?”  

Rose tilted her head and an odd look passed briefly across her face before she replied.  “Lalonde, Rose Lalonde,” she stated, “And this,” she said as she gestured to the blonde boy beside her, “Is my cousin Dave, although he is more like a brother I was blessed without.”

“The full name’s Dave Strider,” he followed, with a nod.

“His short name is ‘You Asshole’,” Rose offered with a wide grin, causing Dave to snort.

“Please, that’s Dirk. I’m ‘You Dick’ and you know it.”

“Surely you meant to label Bro with that moniker,” Rose countered, “He’s the spitting image for the definition of dickery after all, but I do believe we are upsetting Miss Maryam, dearest cousin, and I daresay she looks a touch faint.”

“I am fine, just a bit dazed I think,” Kanaya interjected, “I’m just not quite used to such adventure this early in the morning.”

“You should hit up the nurse and lay down the battle story; just kick the door open and pick the best bed to get your snooze on. What’s that Nurse? I can’t hear you over the fact that I almost became a prime candidate for starting up an acting career as the flattest fucking pancake this city has ever seen. That was some Hallmark Academy award winning hardcore parkour performing, I mean shit, taking on a car like you were starring in a shitty B List Summer Teen flick should at least get you a nap and some morphine. Milk it for all its worth and take a vacation. Three days leave no problem.”

“Dave, I highly doubt morphine would be permitted at a public school;” she paused for a second and shrugged, “They might have some Tylenol though.”

Kanaya shook her head; “No, I, do believe I am quite alright, thank you. But what of yourself? Are you unharmed?”

Rose looked herself over, and took in the sight of her rumpled uniform and her ripped stockings with as much interest as Kanaya might have played a penny superglued to the sidewalk; a small burst of interest that was then disregarded almost instantly. One of her knees was bleeding slightly and one of her sleeves was smeared with pavement dirt, and her hair was a little mussed, but none of this seemed to phase her.  

“I am quite alright. A few tender spots and scrapes perhaps but I don’t feel any particularly worse for wear.”

“Might I then make another personal inquiry?”

Dave nodded and crossed his arms; “Shoot. Aim for the stars. Believe in yourself.”

“Dave hush,” Rose replied firmly, as she shot her companion a look, then, after turning to Kanaya once more replied, “You might, and if I were a betting woman, I dare say you shall.”

“Are you both new here? I don’t believe I’ve seen either of you before today.”

Rose tilted her head again, the opposite way this time, and cast a quick look to her cousin.

He shrugged and raised his eyebrows; when Rose realized he wasn’t going to respond, she sighed.

“We just transferred in, yes. Come to think of it, we should probably head to the administration office to collect our schedules. Mayhaps we could request your service to lead us there, if it weren’t too much trouble?”

“Why certainly,” Kanaya replied happily, “I would be glad to be of further assistance.”

“Great, then let’s get out of this paved deathtrap before something else decides that my cousin’s face would look better splattered on the ground instead of on her head; lead the way Maryam. The promised land awaits for us humble travelers; merrily we fucking go along.”

Rose repeated the end of his sentence in tune, causing him to grimace; Kanaya smiled and headed to the front doors of the building.

As they walked up the steps Dave jumped and slammed his hand against the button that opened the doors automatically.

“Ten points,” he said as he waited for the girls to catch up.  

Rose shook her head and headed inside.

“I must say that despite the rather unfortunate circumstance involved, it was nice meeting you both, and, if it is not too soon to say so, I am fairly certain that we will find ourselves free from the threat of anymore stray cars inside these halls, which might come as a relief.”

Rose nodded, and the sly smile from earlier returned to her lips.

“If I do see any however, I shall be certain to let you know, Miss Maryam.”

As they rounded the corner and approached the front office, Kanaya had the feeling that her day was going to be more interesting than she originally thought.


	2. Chapter 2

The front office, being of moderate size, was not particularly difficult to navigate. It was however, overseen by a small, soft, round, old woman with a bubbly disposition tapping away at an old dinosaur of a computer. When she looked up, she paused her typing and welcomed them with a brief but bright sunny smile. 

“Good morning Mrs. Paint,” Kanaya said, smiling warmly herself, “How are you today?”

“Why I’m fine dear, thank you,” she replied fondly, “What do you need?”

Kanaya stepped back and let Rose approach the desk.

“My cousin and I are the new transfers; we were instructed to collect our schedules and a map of this fine establishment.”

“Of course, and what are your names dear,” she asked, having already turned back to the screen, clicking away. 

“I believe we are filed under Rose Lalonde and Dave Strider.”

Mrs. Paint unexpectedly paused her typing and adjusted her spectacles; she then turned to take in the group properly and gasped.

“My heavens, what on Earth happened to you dear? Are you alright? Oh I do hope you weren’t fighting,” she looked at Kanaya with a huff, “I expected better from you young lady.”

Kanaya shook her hands appraisingly; “Oh no, it was nothing like that at all, but we did have a bit of a brush with danger this morning I’m afraid.”

“This black sedan came speeding onto the sidewalk and Miss Maryam over here tackled Rose out of the way like she had just got her girl scout badge for tackling people out of the way from oncoming black sedans. -The roll was pretty tight, but I deducted points for the landing.” 

“Oh my,” Mrs. Paint said agasp, “Should I call the nurse?”

“We’re quite alright thank you,” Rose replied.

“Are you sure dear? Should I call anyone? A parent or guardian perhaps?”

Rose shook her head.

Mrs. Paint exhaled awkwardly but nodded; “Alright then dear, but if you change your mind just let me know, ok?”

Rose smiled softly and with that, Mrs. Paint turned back to the task at hand.

She pulled up the schedules and looked everyone over once more as they ran through the printer.   

“You might want to find a restroom and tidy up a bit before homeroom;” she handed Rose the prints and continued, “But that’s just an old lady’s suggestion of course. I do hope the rest of your day go better dears, and should you need anything else, I’ll be here.”

“Thank you Mam,” Rose replied politely, taking the offered papers as she did so “And we hope that your day remains pleasant as well.”

Mrs. Paint waved goodbye as the trio left the office, while Kanaya paused just long enough to wave back.  

In the hallway, Rose looked her reflection over in the office window and sighed.  

“I think I might wish to take up the secretary’s suggestion, Miss Maryam, where might we locate a lavatory?”

“Down the next hall and to the left is the girl’s bathroom, and the boys' is on the right,” Kanaya thought aloud, “And there is another set on in the other direction of the school as well. Upstairs matches for the most part, except part of the boy’s bathroom on one side is a bit smaller because the Oceanography room needed extra space for their tank room in the back. Oh, and there’s also a set of bathrooms in the locker rooms and a set by the cafeteria. I think there might be another in the librarian’s offices but I have never been back there myself so I am not fully certain as to its existence or not but the aid there swears they have the softest tissue and there's a rumor that the principal has private facilities containing the best soaps.” 

“The closest will suffice Kanaya.”

Kanaya felt herself blush slightly and smiled awkwardly; “I am sorry, I do have a habit of… well rambling, as it were.”  

“It’s quite alright,” Rose replied kindly, “You should hear one of Dave’s metaphors sometime.”

“Oh?”

“I think the record was an hour and a half, but he was stretching it out on purpose so I am reluctant to count it.” 

“How dare you, that tangent was perfectly legit and you know it. You’re just mad ‘cause Mom liked it more than your shitty poemspeak.”

“That ‘poemspeak’ was a poignant recount in perfect iambic pentameter; that cake slice was mine before you started tossing around contrived similes like they were going out of style and I refuse to speak more about the matter.” 

“U Jelly.”

“Shut up Strider.”

“It’s okay to be jealous Cuz, everyone wants a piece of the Strider swag.”

“Dave.”

“I can teach you how to rap if you want, The Cool School of Strider accepts even the lowliest of applicants.” 

“Dave, if you do not stop talking about this I shall be forced to make you, and not in a fun way.”

“Oh hey look,” Dave interjected, “The girl’s bathroom, what a convenient segway for you to go do something that is not related to fucking me up in anyway, shape, or form. Good job Kanaya, saved my ass this time. You’re on a whirlwind. Better not let anyone know though or soon everyone's gonna want a piece of those sweet ass saving maneuvers. Here’s an idea, how about you drag Rose in there while I stay here? Sound good? Sounds good. I think it’s a great idea. I’m going to play Candy Crush.”

“Oh?” Kanaya asked, mildly surprised.

“Yeah man, gotta keep it fresh. It’s an irony thing, you wouldn’t get it.”

“Candy Crush is ironic?”

Rose grimaced briefly, sighed; “Trust me Kanaya, you really don’t want to get into his irony thing.”

Kanaya glanced between the two blondes and awkwardly cleared her throat. 

Rose walked into the bathroom so Kanaya quickly followed suit. 

“I believe I have a brush in my bag if you would like one,” Kanaya offered when they reached the sinks; she reached into her bag, located the brush, and held it out like an offering. 

Rose gave her a respectful nod, removed her headband, held it between her teeth, and then fixed up her hair before replacing the band and returning the brush.

Kanaya looked herself over in the mirror, absently ran a hand through her hair, and then looked over to see Rose fighting with her blouse in a vain attempt to remove the gravel stains.

“I could lend you my jacket, if you would like?”

Rose looked up from her blouse, with a mild look of surprise written across her face.

“That would be very kind of you Miss Maryam, but do you not need it yourself?”

“I’ll be fine. My classes are all indoors today,” she explained as she started unbuttoning the jacket; “It will be a touch big on you I'm afraid but at least it isn’t stained. And as the staining on your shirt is largely my fault, it is the least I can do.”

Rose looked at the outstretched jacket, and then at Kanaya, and then slowly took the garment and put it on. 

Kanaya huffed when it appeared that the jacket was indeed a bit too big; Rose rolled back the sleeves until the cuffs were at a more manageable position.

“We should probably take a look at your knee as well, while we are in here.”

Rose twisted her leg to get a better look the scrape. She sighed and ripped off some of the brown paper towels out of the canister. 

As she turned the faucet on briefly to wet them, Kanaya pulled out her emergency first aid kit and flittered through its contents until she found a small tube of antiseptic cream and a couple of hypoallergenic band-aids. 

“Do you always come to school this prepared or did you wake up this morning and receive a first aid kit that you were just dying to try out?” Rose asked as she wrung the paper towels over her knee to wash away the worst of the grit.

Kanaya chuckled a bit and spread some of the cream on her fingertips; she paused long enough for Rose to nod her permission, and then smeared it across the scrape.

“My brother has a tendency to get himself into scrapes with inanimate objects; well, technically he’s my cousin but we were raised together,” she explained, “and over the years I have found that being prepared is always the best option available when it comes to dealing with unforeseen circumstances.”

“I’m sure you’re resume of daring rescues and medicalial talents is quite impressive,” Rose replied as Kanaya pressed a band-aid over the worst of the scrape.

“I believe this will suffice,” Rose declared, straightening back up, “How long do we have to find our homeroom?”

Kanaya glanced at the clock on the wall and frowned minutely. 

“About six minutes, which is plenty of time if you don’t need to stop by your lockers to drop something off.”

Rose snorted; “That’s what Dave is for. Come then Miss Maryam, let us be off.”

When they stepped back into the hallway, Dave made to pull his cousin aside but stopped mid-stride when he noticed the change to her ensemble. He huffed, disregarding it and pulled Rose close and whispered something into her ear.

Kanaya couldn’t hear what he was saying, but the soft amusement that had been on Rose’s face contorted into surprise and then fell into something else entirely that Kanaya couldn’t decipher.

She whispered something back to Dave and Kanaya was unable to hear her words as well; Kanaya gripped the strap to her messenger bag and tried not to eavesdrop. 

When Dave pulled pack, seemingly satisfied, Kanaya asked if everything was ok.

Instantly, Dave started towards her and puffed up his chest.  

“Who do you work for?” he asked accusingly.  

“I, beg your pardon?”

“Is it the Markaras? It’s probably them, right? Did Kurloz plan this, he did didn’t he; ‘Cause we both know Gamzee can’t count straight unless he’s doped.”

Kanaya felt herself grow pale and her hands fluttered helplessly.

“I’m afraid I have no idea what you're talking about, unless this is one of your metaphors that Rose warned me about.”

“So it’s not the Makaras. What about the Lejions?” Dave asked, refusing to let the matter go.

“I’m afraid I don’t know of them either.”

“Zahhaks.”

“Gadzunheight?”

“Peixes?”

“No, I’m afraid not.”

“Midnight men.”

“No.”

“You one of Scratch’s girls?”

“No,” Kanaya yelped, startling them both; “I was just trying to be a nice person. I saw the car coming so I pushed Rose out of the way. You two are new students and I thought it’d be kind to show you around, especially considering what happened this morning. But now that you are trying to accuse me of something, I am beginning to have seconds thoughts about being glad to have helped you and frankly, whatever it is that you are implying, I do not care for it.”

Dave looked taken aback, and shrunk into himself slightly. 

“Jeez, no need to get fussy about it.”

Rose pulled him back and placed a hand against Kanaya’s arm.

“Please forgive my cousin, he means well but he gets a little defensive around strangers. He meant only to decipher as to whether you had any ulterior motives pertaining to my maidenly honor. I mean, first you save my life and then you lead the way to a convenient secluded place, where I exit wearing your clothing... I can hardly blame him for getting ideas.”

“Oh, that is;” Kanaya’s eyes widened in surprise, “I would never! Or, I mean, you are very beautiful and I would never wish to imply otherwise, but we hardly know each other!  At the very least I would insist on taking you to dinner or even lunch if you preferred that time constraint, or I suppose any sort of date would do if you did not fancy a culinary-based event so maybe a movie would be-”

Rose giggled, stopping Kanaya mid ramble.

“Thank you for helping us today Kanaya, we both greatly appreciate it. And to better dissuade Dave from doubting your intentions, I think a date would be quite lovely. How does this weekend suit you?”

“This weekend? A date?” Kanaya stammered.

“You’re right, we better start with lunch and see how things go from there. You’ll have to recommend the venue though, as I have yet to familiarize myself with the area.”

“I mean, yes of course, but are you sure? This is rather sudden.”

“I’m sure we’ll get along greatly, Miss Maryam, and, if you recall, you did offer.”

“I suppose I did, didn’t I?” Kanaya replied as she rubbed the back of her neck absently. 

“I hate to break up this touching moment,” Dave interjected, “but we should probably get to homeroom before the teacher marks us absent.”

Rose sighed; “I suppose getting marked absent on our first day would make a terrible first impression.”

Dave nodded.

He took hold of Rose’s free hand and started tugging her away. 

“See ya later Maryam. Stay swell.”

“You too?” Kanaya replied uncertainly. 

“Till we meet again Miss Maryam,” Rose offered happily.  

Rose threw a wink over her shoulder before following her cousin obediently. 

Kanaya remained frozen in place for a few seconds. 

As she watched the pair disappear into shifting crowds of students, Kanaya felt as though she had ridden a Scrambler a few times too many. 

She also found herself with questions that she wasn’t sure she wanted answered.

At the sound of the warning bell, Kanaya was broken out of her thoughts and raced to her homeroom.   


	3. Chapter 3

 

Kanaya was used to being looked over, and even being ogled on the days she really spruced up, but one thing Kanaya was not used to, was the feeling of being _ watched. _

Kanaya had certainly been feeling watched indeed.

She had made it her homeroom before the final bell, and the following classes had largely gone on as they always had, but between all the lectures and scribbled notes, there had been many double glances and odd looks in her direction. Her teachers even seemed to study her more intently than usual; she figured they weren’t used to her looking as distracted and disheveled as she probably appeared. The other students she paid little mind; flashing nods and smiles as she felt most prudent, and when she had walked the halls between bells, the hair along the nape of her neck had stood up as she noted even the janitors making note of her passing.

She hoped it was simply the story of her morning’s heroics spreading around. 

She worried that it was a rumor circulating about her lent jacket and rumpled clothing.

While she’d never been… extravagant, about her preferences, she’d never made much mention about them directly either, which left her to fear a future of dispelling any and all notions of her persuasions. 

She’d seen a few kids, get bullied in crude whispers and hushed rumors; she didn’t fancy the idea of finding out which sorts of rumors were likely to be spread about her, if she remained in public eye.

Walking into the lunchroom only intensified the dreadening feeling, and she bit her tongue to keep from shaking. 

When she caught sight of a familiar face trudging towards her, she nearly sighed in relief.  

“Kanaya why the fuck are you still out here? -Are you  _ trying  _ to starve off your faceflesh? Because if you’re finally coming down with a case of detrimental insecurities like the rest of us I am literally going to shit bricks of disappointment at you. You hear me? Disappointment Kanaya. -Colossal sized bricks of scared disappointment.” 

“I shall endeavor to refrain from causing you to go through such a harrowing ordeal,” she chided as she began walking to the lunch line with Karkat in tow, “No, I was merely composing myself. I’ve had something of an... interesting morning. Thankfully I survived to tell the tale.”

“For the love of every flying fuck that I pretend I don’t have but for some reason do anyway, tell me that you’re joking.”

“You’ve caught me, I am actually dead. And I am haunting you. This is Hell. Welcome to Hell, Karkat.”

“Goddamnit Kanaya.”

Kanaya chuckled; “I met some new students today,” Kanaya replied, picking up a tray.

“Oh good, just what we needed, more hormonal crotchsniffing shoe-shaking mini-sapiens that don’t know the difference between memes and meaningful engagement,” he huffed, “Like we don’t already have enough of those running around. Glad you survived that. Let’s get in line now.” 

“I saved one of them from getting run over,” Kanaya said absently as they took their places in line; “...It was a little unnerving how the car seemed to be aiming straight for her.”

Karkat choked on his tongue and his tray hit the loading shelf with a clatter.

Kanaya took no notice and continued, and started looking over the offered entries as she did so.

“Her cousin showed up shortly after, I’m not sure he knew what to make of me to be honest, nor I of he or even of her for that matter,” she continued absently, as she glanced at the smiling-holepunched potatoes. 

“No, hold up;” Karkat grabbed her by the arm and spun her towards him, “As in stop the train squarely at the station of what the ever literal fuck Kanaya, what do you mean you almost got ran over holy shit did you call the cops!? Shouldn’t you be in a hospital!? Do hospitals call cops? Holy shit is the hospital going to call your sister!?” 

“Relax, neither I nor the new girl were hit by the car,” Kanaya paused sheepishly before continuing, “-I sort of knocked us out of the way of the vehicle. I think my shoulder is a little bruised but I am otherwise unharmed.”

“Did you get the plates?”

“Sadly no, by the time I looked up the car was already gone. I do recall it being dark though, black or perhaps a very deep blue.”

“Well shit, I mean it’s good that you’re ok because if anything ever happened to you I would have no choice but to throw myself off a bone-shitting bridge because I do not want to be the sorry asshole that has to tell your sister about how you went and kicked the fucking bucket on me but Christ Almighty Kanaya, that pissfilled asslicker got off scot-free!”  

“Perhaps Rose managed to catch the number, I should probably ask her, next we meet.”

“And who the shitlicking titstain is that?”

“The name of the new girl is Rose,” Kanaya answered, letting the name trail off her tongue, “Rose Lalonde.”

“Oh God, she sounds like a flighty broad.”

Kanaya tsked and piled her selection on her tray; “I would ask you to refrain from passing judgment until meeting her, but from our brief introduction earlier, I think I nearly agree with that assessment.”

Karkat groaned and the two continued sliding along the line past rows of questionable looking meat products and cartons of flavored milks. 

Kanaya charged her lunch to her account, and stood patiently when the lunch server counted through Karkat’s exact change.

After they finished ringing up their lunches, they made their way to their usual table near the window. 

They sat down with a minor sigh of relief trailed by Karkat mumbling something incomprehensibly to himself. 

He immediately began shoveling his meal into his face.

Kanaya idly toyed with her smiling potatoes.

“She asked me on a date.”

Kanaya watched with amusement as Karkat struggled to keep from spitting his food back onto his tray. He coughed a few times and took a healthy chug of his drink. 

“What the sockrubbing fuck Kanaya, are you  _ trying _ to kill me? Oh sure, let’s just yo-yo Karkat’s emotions around all day, see how that goes? -Please tell me it’s someone nice and not that flighty broad you met today. Please Kanaya, just do us both a favor and find a nice pretty girl that you can arrange posies with or whatever the fuck it is you do when you’re not trying to implode my blood pressure.”

“It’s Rose.”

“Wait, Rose?”

“Yes, Rose.”

“You mean ‘Rose Lalonde’ Rose?”

“Yes,” Kanaya replied, “Have you not been listening to me?”

Karkat moaned and held his head in his hands.

“What?”

“The ritch bitch. You  _ had  _ to pick the rich bitch.”

“Rich bitch?”

“Oh my god Kan, have you not been paying attention to what anyone’s been talking about today?”

“I had just assumed they were discussing the accident this morning.”

“Oh, they have,” Karkat replied curtly, “I just didn’t know that part was  _ you  _ until you told me. But no, I’m talking about the other stuff.”

“What stuff?”

“She’s some rich asshole’s kid, like her and her brother.”

“Cousin, actually.”

“Whatever,” Karkat amended, “She and her boytoy sidekick are filthy snotting rich and have bodyguards and shit. Like instead of holing up in some ritzy private school like they should be, they’re throwing their lot in with us common measles for funsies;” as he ranted, he waved his fork around, sending tiny drops of marinara sauce flying, “-He’s some wannabe hipster jerkoff who’s into port modernistic dada impressionism and she’s a fast track to Nopeville USA on some Elderitch themed express with more snark than a fucking car insurance commercial. Every time someone tries to talk to her she fucking snubs them like they were yesterday's news with a smile on her face that could make a man sick up his own intestines out of spite.”

“Those accusations are both unyieldingly and horrifyingly true, and I am my good sir, entirely supportive of your validation on all those facts.”

Karkat froze and Kanaya turned around to see Rose holding a tray with a smirk on her face. Dave was standing beside her, already trying to pick out the juiciest bits of his fruit cup to munch on. 

“I don’t suppose we could join you for lunch? The other tables are rather full.”

Kanaya spared a glance at Karkat, who looked to be caught in state between embarrassment and indignation, and smiled.

“Of course.”

Rose sat down next to Kanaya, and Dave sat beside her. 

“In my nearly see-through defense however,” Rose began amiably, “I would like to state for the record that the reason I have been snubbing my potential conversational partners is based solely on the fact that I have neither the patience for getting reprimanded for not paying attention during my first day here and secondly, that I grew tired of speaking of the almost-an-accident I had this morning the third time someone mentioned it. The number since then has well past climbed into the double digits and I don’t care for its ever-fulling figure.”

“Besides, letting everyone hate us is a vital service to society,” Dave added, as fished around his fruit cup with his finger; “what even is a kid, with nothing new to rebel against?”  

“So what, did your parents send you here as a ‘fuck you’, or did you just wanna slum it with the rest of us degenerates,” Karkat quipped. 

“I thought you would have been happy for a little more ‘cultural broadening’,” Kanaya jested lightly, testing the waters of conversation; “-His brother is an activist,” she explained quickly to the newcomers. 

“Ahh,” Rose offered, as she plied open her milk carton.

“Unlike that asshat, I don’t make it my job to educate privileged fuckwads about the powers of friendship and moral-empathy,” Karkat huffed, before glaring over at Rose; “But don’t expect me to just roll over and let you get away with walking all over me and Kan, here,” he warned; “Your money means nothing to us louts. You’re locked in this teen brimming sloughhouse with the rest of us and it will crush whatever dignity and soul you have left because if it doesn't I’m going to piss a fucking aneurysm and blame you for the insurance money.”  

“I assure you,” Rose quipped happily, as she stabbed her mashed potatoes, “You wouldn’t be the person I'm interested in rolling over.”  

Dave choked on a piece of fruit, and coughed up a half mashed grape onto the table as one of Kanaya’s hands flew reflexively to her face, in effort to hide a small blush. 

Rose, still smirking, refrained from commenting further, and continued to eat her meal delicately while Dave slapped his chest a few times to dislodge any particulats still caught in his throat.

“Jesus fucknig Christ,” Karkat commented, his breath almost sighing with lamenting-anger. 

Kanaya steadied her breath and let her hand fall back to the table; feeling as though the cafeteria around her was intently watching their every move. The knowledge that Rose and her cousin were the “rich new kids in town” made it easier to pretend that she didn’t notice the way the lunchlady eyed them over with a grim sort of precision; Kanaya wondered if the school had gotten in a flurry of new staff members as well, or if she just didn’t recall the particular help on hand for the day.

Perhaps, she thought; she rich kids had simply brought some of the new staff with them. 


End file.
